im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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