Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Four minutes until I can fart!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
