Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
