p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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