I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
