"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize