ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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