they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
