he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
