omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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