I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
