he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize