Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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