I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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