with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?