Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
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I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
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I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.