mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.