I should be sponsored by Trojan
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel