No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I think my nap took me to another dimension