I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
