I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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