so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
