i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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