You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Sober January is a disaster.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
