i just wanna soil my oats bro
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you guys were way drunker than both of me
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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