Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
