it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
