'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize