i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
