I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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