He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
