Whod you bang
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
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I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
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You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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