Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
