Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
