I must be too annoying 4 u.
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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