My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
