is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Randomize
