I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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