We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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