The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
