I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
