So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize