Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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