I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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