I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
