im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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