I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
