guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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