I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
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Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
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Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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