Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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