I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
