She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
how drunk are you?
Several
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
