if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
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