I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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