i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
