woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Dicks are not precious.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize