in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!