My Higher Power is John Stamos
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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