please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
