Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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