I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
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THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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