Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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