I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
