I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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